we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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