I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
