I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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