I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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