SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
