No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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