are you still at the devil's house?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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