do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
