jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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