Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
another moral hangover. fuck.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
