I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
