Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
