so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
