Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
