I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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