If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
