i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
