We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
