I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You know, be my cock's hype man.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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