Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
