O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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