Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
