hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
