i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
