i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
