i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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