His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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