I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
