is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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