Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All the doctor said was why
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
