No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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