i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
