You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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