Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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