They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
