By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
