i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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