i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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