i may or may not be watching the land before time
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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