so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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