please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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