woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think your dad took our porno
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
