whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We had sex on a dog bed..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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