So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
