i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
