Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
