just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
