Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
