Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
