I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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