I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
