Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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