I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
